First Time Story Comments

This kind of second person narrative makes me crazy. Narrator cannot possibly know what I'm thinking, nor what I'm doing when I'm not there. And telling me things that have happened to me, or that I've already done is an annoying waste of time. Why would you do that? I cut bait after...

This was very enjoyable as an erotic story. It could be a better story with a little editing. Too many minor, inconsequential details and explanations.

I like your detailed decriptions. You are a very talented writer. Keep writing, please.

You’re a noob, so I’ll be gentile.

Present tense is BY FAR the worst way for an amateur writer to structure a story. Many pros have failed at that. Past tense is simpler and more natural for writer and reader.

Backstory, subtext and prior character development go along way to...

Thank you for your detailed analysis.

Kindly have a read of my other story too. I would love to hear your comments and feedback on that too.

Warm regards

I really like this story, and hope you wiwll continue it

Really very well written and extremely arousing. A lovely description of awakening.

Great story. Loved it. Please write more in the same theme. Maybe she can tell a friend who will become interested in gloryholes.

Fantastic and erotic story. Why do we not have another chapter about these two and their new relationship? So many possibilities for a fun and erotic story.

If you don't write professionally you could do. Very humane, perfect ending.

I just love how we get ignored for months and months, then Chole arrives to apologize and promises to update us frequently and then says the next chapter is nigh on done, only to vanish again and leave us hanging.

She treats us with utter disdain!

Such a beautiful encounter 💘

Wow, cant wait to read on... More of this exchange, Please!

I can only Dream of Me, being the young lad....

having the memory of 'The Older' Lady's attention before, this really sent me over the top.

Wow. What can I say? All four previous comments were spot on. You obviously proofread your work. This was a pleasure to read. Great description of first time sex where the woman did take charge without being over bearing. She was his teacher when she needed to be, but was savvy...

What a fantastic story. I think the BEST I have ever read. Congratulations.

Sorry, but I gave it 2 stars. I liked the opening, felt like it had a lot of potential. But then it quickly got very rushed. I think the bullet-point paragraphs were distracting and the overuse of drawing out words with extra letters at the end of the story was cliche. Add the obligatory...

Well written. You were able to fit much within the short story.

A definite 5! I occasionally had trouble keeping the “body” straight with the person. . . a Who’s who?” I can’t imagine how talented you must be as an author to keep this straight while writing it??? Looking forward to more!

Please write more chapters, to this very hot story...5 Stars for sure

Hugs and Kisses Betty jo xoxo

first class debut - well done

Will be watching out for more

There's a good story here, but it needs some polishing.

Great nerd fantasy - Big Dick, tutoring hotties, seduced by cheer coach and team. What's not to like. Too bad not real life.

Loved the support and intimacy. I love anything that makes a woman be creative, involved and put herself out there to make her husband happy.

Awesome!

I have the feeling I've read guts & gory mayhem like this before, but I'm not sure where. Beowulf, I suppose. Poul Anderson? (Nice hat-tip to him there.) And then there are James Clavell and Karl May (German, 19th century, westerns (!!) and travel adventure stories...

Very nice! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very nice! I hope we see more stories on here soon.

If I was them I would call the police, have them arrested. Then sue all in evolved. Then send them a wedding invitation to the jail, and move to another state.

Omg this is so good, great job :D

Any way to have a forum Dark Mode?

Great read. Time for Helen to get a finger in her ass

I think it is excellent. I really enjoyed it.

This was outstanding! My first time reading this author’s work & im totally impressed. A full 5 stars for a unique story.

Bill S.

Excellent story line and written so it is hard to put down till the end of the chapter. Really looking forward to the next chapter but I must add that I think they shouldn't keep their affair secret for very long. Just my humble opinion.

STEVE